The Multiverse Employee Handbook
The Multiverse Employee Handbook is a science comedy podcast where workplace humor meets cosmic exploration. From quantum mechanics explained through staff meetings to space history through annual reviews, we decode scientific mysteries through corporate metaphors. Each episode combines rigorous science with absurdist office scenarios, whether exploring the strange physics of black holes or the equally baffling logic of expense reports. Perfect for curious minds who suspect their workplace might exist across multiple dimensions, we deliver astronomical insights wrapped in corporate satire. Whether you’re fascinated by the mysteries of dark matter or the inexplicable disappearance of break room snacks, our show provides genuine scientific knowledge with existential humor. Subscribe now to navigate both the cosmos and cubicle culture with equal parts wonder and skepticism! New episodes arrive every Tuesday, regardless of temporal anomalies.

Want more interdimensional insights and quantum quandaries?
Visit multiverseemployeehandbook.com, where our blog exists in a superposition of hilarious and enlightening until observed by readers like you! Get the latest quantum corporate news, explore parallel universe perspectives, and discover why Dave from Accounting keeps appearing in multiple dimensions simultaneously.
From deep dives into sci-fi science to updates on the latest office anomalies, our website is like a wormhole to better understanding of both physics and the absurdity of corporate culture. Plus, unlike Schrödinger's cat, our content is definitely alive and regularly updated!
Subscribe to our quantum RSS feed to ensure you never miss a post across any timeline. Remember: in at least one universe, you've already bookmarked us - might as well make it this one too!
Episodes
2 days ago
2 days ago
Are we about to make first contact… or have aliens left us on hold for the last 50,000 years with a playlist titled “Symphony for Quasar and Dark Matter in B-flat Minor”?
🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
This week, we uncover the universe’s most sophisticated hold music, decode messages about our planet’s extended warranty, and ask the big question: are we alone, or just really bad at cosmic customer service?
Prepare for bureaucratic black holes, mathematically perfect false positives, and the creeping suspicion that the cosmos might be screening our calls.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
Tuesday Jul 15, 2025
Tuesday Jul 15, 2025
Discover how trained astronauts, assembled rockets, and planned lunar bases fell victim to the most destructive force in the universe: bureaucratic entropy.
🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
In this episode of The Multiverse Employee Handbook, we explore the cosmic tragedy of Apollo missions 18 through 20, combining space exploration history with the peculiar art of cancelling the impossible just as it becomes inevitable. Whether you're a space enthusiast mourning humanity's missed opportunities or a project manager familiar with the sting of budget cuts, this episode will leave you questioning the laws of fiscal thermodynamics.
Join us as we explore lunar geology through the lens of cancelled dreams and corporate quarterly reviews. In this episode, we present "The Phantom Launch Window" - a tale of what happens when Mission Planner Jenkins encounters quantum budget superposition and the peculiar bureaucratic forces that can transform Saturn V rockets from cosmic transportation into horizontal museum displays.
Discover how Richard Gordon spent three years mastering the geological intricacies of Copernicus Crater for a mission that would be cancelled faster than lunar regolith in vacuum, explore the advanced rover technology and nuclear-powered observatories that were ready for deployment, learn about helium-3 mining reconnaissance that was fifty years ahead of its time, and understand how far-side radio telescope concepts from 1970 are finally being implemented in today's space programs. We'll also examine how NASA's current Artemis program faces the same budgetary quantum mechanics that killed Apollo 18-20, proving that some cosmic forces are more powerful than rocket engines.
Discover why space exploration isn't just humanity's greatest adventure, but also our most expensive lesson in the difference between "mission ready" and "budget approved." Whether you're fascinated by cancelled space missions, curious about lunar geology, or just wondering how Tang became the beverage of cosmic disappointment, this episode blends historical tragedy with laugh-out-loud moments, taking you on an interdimensional journey through the graveyard of cosmic ambition.
Remember: in the multiverse of space exploration, every cancelled mission exists in a superposition of "what could have been" and "what the spreadsheet observed into nonexistence" until someone opens the filing cabinet marked "Strategic Priorities."
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
Tuesday Jul 08, 2025
Tuesday Jul 08, 2025
Ever wondered how to achieve perfect work-life balance in the vacuum of space? Join us for humanity's most successful example of building infrastructure before knowing what it's for!
🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
Join us as we explore gravitational equilibrium through the lens of corporate facilities management and cosmic real estate. In this episode, we present "The Five-Point Parking Scheme" - a tale of what happens when sales department creativity meets 18th-century French mathematics.Discover why gravitational equilibrium isn't just floating in space aimlessly, but the universe's most elegant solution to cosmic parking problems with spectacular views and no meter fees. Whether you're a space enthusiast, facilities manager, or just wondering how to store prize horses at mathematically precise locations, this episode has something for everyone.
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Tuesday Jul 01, 2025
Tuesday Jul 01, 2025
Discover the most audacious Cold War experiment ever launched: America's plan to solve communication vulnerabilities by gift-wrapping Earth in 480 million copper needles. Explore how Project West Ford's spectacular failure accidentally created modern space law, international cooperation protocols, and the template for every space debris controversy since 1963.
🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
Welcome to the cosmic catastrophe that makes your worst IT project look like a masterpiece of restraint and fiscal responsibility. In this episode, we explore how America's response to nuclear communication blackouts involved the most expensive space jewelry in history—480 million precisely-cut copper needles deployed using mothball technology to create Earth's first artificial ionosphere.
Our copper-plated communications coordinator guides us through humanity's greatest orbital accessorizing adventure, from the terrifying 1958 nuclear tests that severed communications across the Pacific to MIT Lincoln Laboratory's audacious solution: replace nature's vulnerable ionosphere with a better one made of cosmic haberdashery. Along the way, we witness Cabinetta Filesworth's existential storage crisis when Quantum Improbability Solutions' Square-Haired Boss demands an innovative solution to their filing cabinet overflow, leading to the discovery of quantum document compression through the brilliant insights of summer intern Samvit Gupta.
Join us for this journey through Cold War engineering's greatest overreach, from nuclear communication nightmares to mothball deployment systems that briefly made Earth the solar system's most fashionably accessorized planet. Because in the multiverse of military communications, we're all just trying to call home across the vast darkness of space, though some of us are apparently willing to redecorate the entire cosmos with precisely-cut copper wire to make that happen.
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Friday Jun 27, 2025
Friday Jun 27, 2025
Perpetual motion machines that actually work? Welcome to the impossible physics of time crystals!
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Join us as we explore the bizarre world of temporal physics through the lens of academic accidents and quantum corporate bureaucracy. In this special bonus episode of The Multiverse Employee Handbook, we witness Nobel laureate Frank Wilczek's 2010 classroom moment when routine lecture prep accidentally broke the laws of physics, combining cutting-edge quantum mechanics with the kind of serendipitous discovery that would make any corporate R&D department weep with envy. Whether you're a quantum physics enthusiast, a lover of scientific impossibilities, or just wondering how perpetual motion machines finally got past the patent office, this episode will leave you questioning the nature of time itself.
Take our 2-minute listener survey: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
Tuesday Jun 24, 2025
Tuesday Jun 24, 2025
Ever wondered why time flies when you're having fun but crawls during team meetings? Scientists now think your subjective experience might be revealing profound truths about quantum reality itself.
Tell us what you love, what you tolerate, and what our HR department should really stop doing—take our 2-minute listener survey: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
Join us as we explore the ultimate question that's keeping physicists awake at night: is time fundamentally real, or just the universe's most convincing magic trick? In this episode, we dive into cutting-edge research suggesting time emerges from quantum entanglement rather than flowing independently - making your chronic lateness a potentially profound statement about the nature of reality.
Discover why recent experiments suggest we're not experiencing time but creating temporal reality through quantum correlation, and how this connects to our previous episode on entropy's arrow. Whether you're a physics enthusiast, philosophy lover, or just someone who's ever been late to a Zoom call, this episode explores what it means to exist as conscious beings embedded in a potentially timeless quantum reality.
Remember: in the multiverse of temporal mysteries, every deadline exists in superposition until someone checks their calendar and collapses the wave function of punctuality.
#QuantumPhysics #TimePhilosophy #EmergentTime #Einstein #WheelerDeWitt #PageWootters #ScienceComedy #ExistentialPhysics #ConsciousnessStudies #QuantumGravity
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Tuesday Jun 17, 2025
Tuesday Jun 17, 2025
The most expensive dirt delivery service in the solar system meets the universe's most unforgiving schedule.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Join us as we explore Mars Sample Return through the lens of interplanetary project management gone beautifully wrong. In this episode, we present "The Interdimensional Logistics Catastrophe" - a tale of what happens when cosmic bureaucracy meets orbital mechanics and fifteen years of careful planning.
Discover why Mars Sample Return isn't just the world's most expensive dirt collection project, but humanity's ultimate test of whether we can execute a plan spanning decades, multiple countries, and the whims of planetary alignment. Whether you're a planetary science enthusiast, a project manager who thinks your deadlines are challenging, or just wondering how to coordinate international treaties with orbital mechanics, this episode has something for everyone.
Remember: in the multiverse of space exploration, every sample return mission exists in a superposition of "groundbreaking scientific achievement" and "bureaucratic catastrophe" until someone checks the budget.
#MarsExploration #SpaceLogistics #OrbitalMechanics #InternationalCooperation #ScienceComedy #PlanetaryScience #SpacePolicy #ProjectManagement #ScienceHumor #WorkplacePhysics
Special advocacy note: This episode includes information about contacting Congress regarding proposed NASA budget cuts threatening Mars Sample Return.
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
Tuesday Jun 10, 2025
Tuesday Jun 10, 2025
From the Atacama Desert at the foot of the revolutionary Vera C. Rubin Observatory, we explore the universe's greatest cosmic mystery: why most of reality has been playing hide-and-seek for 13.8 billion years.
Tell us what you love, what you tolerate, and what our HR department should really stop doing—take our 2-minute listener survey: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
Join us as we present "The Upside-Down Observatory" - a tale of what happens when Quantum Improbability Solutions accidentally builds their new cosmic facility completely inverted, leading Brad from Sales to pitch it as the world's first "Cosmic Selfie Observatory" that finally focuses on YOU instead of distant galaxies.
Discover why dark matter isn't just missing cosmic inventory, but the fundamental scaffolding that holds galaxies together. Whether you're an astrophysics enthusiast, corporate infrastructure manager, or just wondering how to detect invisible colleagues who somehow still influence every meeting, this episode has something for everyone.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
#DarkMatter #VeraRubin #CosmicMystery #InvisibleUniverse #ScienceComedy #AstronomyHumor #GravitationalLensing #CosmicArchitecture #QuantumPhysics #SpaceObservatory
Tuesday Jun 03, 2025
Tuesday Jun 03, 2025
Discover why humanity's greatest intellectual achievement involves strategic symbol arrangement and existential confusion about whether "nothing" can be "something."
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
Join us as we explore humanity's 5,000-year mathematical journey through the lens of Dr. Isabella Fibonacci's corporate crisis. In this episode, we present "The Zero Integration Incident" - a tale of what happens when a functioning accounting system meets the revolutionary concept that you can actually calculate with nothingness.
Whether you're a mathematics enthusiast, accounting professional, or just wondering how to represent negative employee satisfaction across spacetime, this episode has something for everyone.
Remember: in the multiverse of corporate culture, every mathematical concept exists in a superposition of "elegantly solvable" and "completely impossible" until someone from Accounting collapses the wave function.
#Mathematics #Zero #CorporateHumor #NumberTheory #ScienceComedy #MultipleDimensions #OfficeLife #Brahmagupta #ScienceHumor #WorkplaceMath
Tell us what you love, what you tolerate, and what our HR department should really stop doing—take our 2-minute listener survey: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
Tuesday May 27, 2025
Tuesday May 27, 2025
The panic intensifies! We conclude our Towel Day tribute to Douglas Adams with the top four most efficient methods for planetary termination. From asteroid impacts that make dinosaur extinction look like a minor HR incident to vacuum decay events that rewrite the laws of physics faster than corporate policy updates.
Part 2 of our cosmic countdown reveals extinction scenarios where survival rates drop from "statistically insignificant" to "mathematically zero." Follow Marcus from Quantum Improbability Solutions' Extinction Preparedness Department as his warnings about an incoming solar megaflare collide with corporate bureaucracy and the mysterious Department of Improbability Management.
Discover why massive space rocks rarely file proper flight plans, how magnetar starquakes deliver both lethal radiation and cosmic sunburn simultaneously, and why the universe's ultimate "game over" scenario makes even the most well-positioned towel completely useless.
New listeners should start with Part 1 (Episode 20) to avoid violating cosmic bureaucracy's "Proper Procedures for Planetary Termination" manual.
Remember: DON'T PANIC! In the multiverse of extinction events, we're all just temporary arrangements of atoms taking a brief but improbable tour through consciousness. Keep your towel handy—even if it won't save you from physics being rewritten.
This episode contains affectionate references to Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. This podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by the estate of Douglas Adams, its publishers, or rights holders. All references are made in homage, satire, and celebration of Adams’ cultural impact on science fiction and absurdist humor.
https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com
AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.